Overcoming anything can become a struggle. We all fight battles , some of the hardest ones are alone. As women especially, we don’t have time to break down,we can’t afford to crumble, we have too much responsibility and people that rely on us to be strong. I think those of us that hide our emotions and feelings struggle the most. We’re too afraid to let our guard down and show the world what’s really going on inside. I used to be very closed off. Unless you were extremely close to me and someone I could trust would I ever reveal an anxiety or a depression I was experiencing. That all changed 2 years ago when I decided to give my story away. It wasn’t because I wanted attention or pity. It was because I was hoping it might help someone else not feel so alone. If my story could help just one person not feel ashamed? It was all worth it to me. I still struggle with demons alone that no one knows about because I’m not ready to share them but when I am ready, it’s with the intention of helping others and in the process, helping myself.
Since I started being so open and honest about my own past and present struggles, it’s helped me to move on from them. I’ve been able to put them on the shelf and not carry them around with me everywhere.
I think mostly people have this fear of appearing weak or being judged. I know I did. However, my desire to connect with others dealing with the same issues as me was much stronger and quite frankly, people are going to judge you regardless of your past. You can have the perfect life and others will still find something to hate or judge you for.
You can’t worry about everyone else. If someone is going to judge you or hate on you , let them. It’s not our job to make others respect or love us. We can only be the best version of ourselves that we can. Sometimes , it will never be enough for some. Once I stopped caring so much about being judged, my life became much easier. When you live with secrets it can cause your mind, body and soul to breakdown, you’re in this constant stressful state and that’s not good. It effects your health mostly. Stress is the number one killer. People don’t realize how horrible our bodies respond to stress.
There is something I never opened up about because I honestly thought it wasn’t that big of a deal but it was. When I was 5 or 6? I remember my mother dropped me off at the neighbor’s house because she had to go to work and my father was not home. I remember their was a bunch of men in the living room drinking beer and smoking. I can still smell the beer and the cigarettes, it’s like it never goes away. When I walked in, I remember these men all touching me, pinching me, and it made me feel so scared. I was petrified, really. I don’t remember much after that but I will never forget that moment and that feeling. It was a feeling of dread and despair. Even though they were all smiling and laughing. The room was dark and evil. I never told my mom or anyone for that matter about this incident, to this day. This is the first time I’m writing about it. I think it’s important to let these emotions out in a positive way. Releasing it actually makes me feel better. It doesn’t make the memory disappear but it helps to put it someone.
Don’t be afraid to talk about your problems , write them down, deal with them in a positive way instead of trying to mask them with substances or risky behaviors. When we’re weak , we find our strength. Our trials make us the person we’re today. Don’t live with regret and shame. Your past is just that, the past. It can’t be changed or alter so all we can do is learn from it, try not to repeat it, gain strength and move on.
Nobody’s problems are worse or better than the next person. We all struggle, just in different ways. For me, finding something that is all mine, something I can control, something healthy that is just for me has helped me become a strong woman. Being able to help others do the same has been empowering. It’s given me a sense of purpose and drive. A reason to get up everyday and fight for myself and others. I’m not perfect, at all. I still have days where I really struggle to get out of bed. However, I refuse to accept defeat from myself. I refuse to just lay down and die. I’m here for a reason as are all of you. Once you find that reason, you’ll fight even harder.
I think that’s why I’m so passionate about what I do and my business. It literally saved my life, that’s not an exaggeration either. I was on a downward slope and it wasn’t till i had that first person email me saying “thank you so much, because of you I’m me again, you’re an angel” (I still have this message saved ) that I knew , I found my purpose and I stopped feeling sorry myself and I made changes!
Please know I am always just a click, text or a message away. you’re not alone and great things are waiting for you! Sometimes, you just need to take a chance. ❤️❤️
Thank you for reading!